The Memory-Trigger Songs
You know, the ones on your Xanga
Remember that movie from a few years back with Bradley Cooper and Jennifer Lawrence, Silver Linings Playbook? Bradley Cooper’s character couldn’t hear My Cherie Amour by Stevie Wonder without having a meltdown. We all have songs like that to some degree, don’t we? I break into a Pavlovian cold sweat from the song “You And I” by Ingrid Michaelson due to the association with my last semester of undergrad, which contained finals, grad school applications/the GRE, and a major breakup. Ingrid, you got me through, but that song has a lot of baggage.
Rewind to age 11. I spent an entire 2-hour car ride staring at a photo of Leonardo DiCaprio while listening to “Everything I Do (I Do It For You)” by Bryan Adams on my CD player on repeat. Yep. And I actually still love that song and feel no shame about that fact.
This post is dedicated to the songs that cannot be played without very specific memories tagging along. I know we all have them. If you want to share some of yours, I would love to read them in the comments.
More noteworthy examples from my life:
“First Day of My Life” by Bright Eyes was indeed on my Xanga. Or was it my MySpace page? I don’t know. It’s the sweetest song. To me, it sounds like young love and html background color codes. Please tell me what songs were attached to your old social media accounts. It was an Evanescence song, wasn’t it?
“I Will Come to You” by Hanson was definitely on repeat during our 1998 10-hour car ride to Disney World. On that same trip to Florida, my aunt let me listen to her headphones while we were at the beach, and I remember feeling super grown up listening to “Noah’s Dove” by 10,000 Maniacs.
When I was 13, my first boyfriend gave me three red roses and took me on a date to see Mr. Deeds. His dad drove us in their maroon Camaro. “One Last Breath” by Creed was on the radio while we drove to the theater. I KNOW. It doesn’t get any more 2002 than that.
At 14, my childhood best friend died. I listened to “Name” by the Goo Goo Dolls during our trip to Texas for his funeral. Whenever I hear it, I remember the long procession of cars, the rain rolling down my backseat window, and my anger that the entire world wasn’t screeching to a halt. They played some of his favorite songs at his funeral: “Can’t Stop” by The Red Hot Chili Peppers, “Here Without You” and “When I’m Gone” by 3 Doors Down.
“On the Radio” by Regina Spektor and “New Soul” by Yael Naim bring me right back to the dorms my freshman year.
Also in undergrad, my brother had a recording studio in his room, and I recorded a cover of Ke$ha’s “TiK ToK.” Still pretty proud of that cover. :-P
In grad school I impressed my friends (maybe surprised is a better word) by knowing all the words to “Super Bass” by Nicki Minaj. Also proud of that.
My husband and I walked down the aisle arm-in-arm to “Your Song” by Elton John. <3
In the wee morning hours of excruciating postpartum fog, I played “You Can Close Your Eyes” by James Taylor on repeat. My parents played that song for me when I was little, and no other song makes me feel as safe and loved.
Taylor Swift very publicly shared a few of her music-related ex-boyfriend memory triggers on her new album (BTW, her namesake is James Taylor), and that may or may not have been the inspiration for this post.
The Tortured Poets Department: You smoked, then ate seven bars of chocolate/We declared Charlie Puth should be a bigger artist/I scratch your head; you fall asleep/like a tattooed golden retriever.
Guilty as Sin?: Drowning in the Blue Nile/He sent me Downtown Lights/
I hadn't heard it in a whileThe Black Dog: I just don't understand/How you don't miss me/In The Black Dog/When someone plays The Starting Line, and you jump up/But she's too young to know this song/ That was intertwined in the magic fabric of our dreaming/Old habits die screaming
Ahh, the relationship drama songs. They will always hold a special, tortured place in my heart. I have dozens, but these are at the tippy top: all Ingrid Michaelson songs, “Comfortable” and “In Your Atmosphere” by John Mayer, “In Between Love” by Tom Waits, and “All Too Well” by Taylor Swift. Visceral nausea.
I wanna know yours!
There are so many songs that when they come on will just transport you back to a memory or a feeling. Below are some of mine
Conway Twitty Don’t Cry Joni was one of my favorite songs to listen to over and over again as a kid. Obviously I liked the songs that told a story even back then. But I also thought I was an amazing singer at 5 and would sing it as loudly as I possibly could. Anytime I hear it now I am transported back to the car as a little kid singing it as loud as possible. Honorable Mention for the same type of response from my 5 year old self would be Sold by John Michael Montgomery. I really loved country music as a kid 🤣 GMC was my jam.
Another song with such fond memories is Zombie by The Cranberries when I would go on outings with my aunt and it would come on she would turn it up and at the Zombie part sing it as loud and funny as she possibly could. Still to this day if it comes on I will turn it up and belt it and then send her a snap of what I’m singing. She does the same to me anytime it comes on.
It’s interesting that I can’t think of specific songs that got me through a break up at the moment. I am sure so many did but at the moment I can’t tie any to a specific feeling like that. I will say Avril Lavigne - Nobody’s Home for sure met me right where I was in my complicated childhood and made me feel seen. Avril’s 1st 2 albums will always and forever be my jam. I do remember riding in the car with a bunch of friends singing Here’s to Never Growing Up and I think every teenager/young adult needs a little anthem like that when they are young to belt and sing with friends and look back on with such fond memories. Like oh what a fun and silly time for that young girl.
I remember when I got my first mp3 player my brother downloaded a lot of songs on it for me and I had never heard one which was Wonderful by Everclear. Let me tell you if you had a complicated childhood that is not a song to be driving to work to and never have heard before but it did verbalize a lot of feelings I had when I was a kid and I might have listened to it on repeat for a long time after that day. Like I said some song just met you right where you need them to.
I mean what would a post about some of my favorite songs that have fond memories be without an area for Taylor. The first time I ever heard a Taylor Swift song was my senior year. My English teacher had everyone pick a Ballad that they loved or wanted to show the class and write a report/speech on it and then present it to the class. Very awesome exercise and was a blast for everyone. I know and your thinking in your research to pick out a song you found her. Nope, sitting in class I don’t remember who presented it and I don’t remember which song I picked personally to show but someone played the music video for Teardrops on my Guitar by Taylor Swift and I was like who is this and why do I automatically love her. Went home and looked up the music video on yahoo music and listened to it over and over and over again. At the time I didn’t tell anyone about it really because I was much more into punk music at the time. By much more into I mean that’s what my friend group listened to and if you said you liked someone like TS or even Avril you were going to be called a poser and be made fun of. I won’t say that I didn’t like the music at the time but as an adult who no longer cares about what others think of my musical taste that’s not the music I gravitate to anymore so who knows. All of that to say Teardrops on my Guitar was the first ever TS song that I heard and I will never forget it. I didn’t look into her much after that because well as you know the internet wasn’t as easy to access music back then as it is now. Then in 2010 so now I am in college my sister bought the Speak Now CD by Taylor Swift and me and her listened to it everywhere we went together. I loved that CD so much and of course it made it even better listening to it with one of my favorite people. Then Red came out and I made more friends that loved Taylor as much as I did at work. We bought tickets to go and see her in concert but we could not get off of work to go so we had to cancel the tickets. Let me tell you I would go back and say quit your job and go but I still probably wouldn’t have listened to myself lol I needed that job 🤣
I was working a new job when 1989 came out and I knew I was going to be obsessed. This nice guy I had just started dating bought me a new iPod and I downloaded the new album on it and was able to listen to it while redoing different shoe aisles on Sunday nights my favorite song on the album was Blank Space. You wouldn’t think that song would bring fond memories of a new relationship but it brings me right back to that happy bubble of my new relationship with my now husband. I actually didn’t have any Taylor Swift songs played at my wedding I mean I loved everything about my wedding but that’s a small regret if I had any. I think I mostly didn’t do it because I didn’t want anyone to be like of course and roll their eyes. Maybe the judgement over musical taste in high school reared its ugly head for the last time with that decision. I still love the song I walked down the aisle to A Thousand Years by Christina Perri and it is fun hearing it when I am out and about and it takes me back to walking down the aisle and seeing Joeys face at the end another moment that will be frozen in my memory forever. Back to TS though obviously I have loved all of her albums but the next song that hit me like a ton of bricks was Exile from Folklore I said earlier that I couldn’t think of a specific song that got me through a breakup, but their are plenty of songs from Taylor that have helped say the exact words of what I was feeling while in different relationships that have helped me heal. Exile is one that reminds me so much of my longest relationship with an ex. Just telling them over and over again what’s missing and them acting like they never saw the signs and saying oh now I will change if it wasn’t worth changing all of this time then it won’t change now. Best decision I ever made but it’s nice that Taylor gave me the words and feelings to reflect and sing Exile as loud as possible to those phantoms inside. Of course there are plenty of songs from her last few albums that I sing to those phantoms and it rights another piece each time.
Of course what is a whole response of important songs without mentioning the ones that remind me of my little girl. I have a whole playlist in my Apple Music that I would play on repeat and rock and sing to Sophia when she was a newborn. Can’t Help Falling in Love and True Colors was my 2 favorite songs to sing to her when she was a baby. I would play both of them on loop to get her to go to sleep both of those songs still get to remind me of our special time together at night rocking her to sleep. Of course I don’t think of it as my song but my husbands he would always sing Little Bitty Pretty One to her when she was a baby and that was the first song he sang to her the night she was born rocking her to sleep. So that song lets me think fondly with all the warm and fuzzies of both of them.
The latest song that has really got to me and I never really gave it much attention before was Majorie from Evermore. That was actually the song when I went to the Eras Tour that I took a potty break for because I had not really given it much time to listen to. But my husbands father passed away last year and it hit me a lot harder then I anticipated. Especially when you feel like no wait you have to be strong for the people who actually spent their whole life with him. But I still think of him often and mourn the loss of all the possible memories that could have been made with my kiddo. She got 4 wonderful years with him and they had such an amazing and special bond. No worries teared up a little writing this like I said hit me harder then I anticipated. When I went to see the Eras Movie with my friend that’s not the song I took a potty break for and boy was I not ready. Listening to her describe her relationship with her grandmother and all the missed memories reflected all of my feelings for my father in law and of course she had me crying in the middle of a theater (thank goodness that was the song my friend decided to take a potty break for) I was able to get myself back together before anyone saw and I was like well now I need to go back and give it more of a listen. I got to cry a little more to it in private the next listen thank goodness. Once again Taylor healing a part that I didn’t realize needed it.
I could keep going on and on but I will stop here. Thanks for asking about important songs to us Meagan and thank you for sharing yours ❤️